She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
