He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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