I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
