my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
