I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
