My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize