I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
