If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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