I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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