I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
