just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
