Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
