I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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