do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
