I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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