She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
