Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
