Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
