mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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