There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
