I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize