OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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