first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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