This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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