A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
