It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
