just come out here and I will go home with you...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
