Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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