we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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