I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
