I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
