So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
His nipple licking is glorious
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