Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
