i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
