Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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