Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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