your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
