I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
