I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
