Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
