After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
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We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
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I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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