all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
