It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
