Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
