nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Hippo gnu deer
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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