he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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