I want to have your abortion
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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