Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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