we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
