i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize