I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize