You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
