Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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