You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
