dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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