CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
