Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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