I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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