I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
